Thursday, June 10, 2010

FB made me think tonight

Well, not facebook, but a new FB friend. She posted this:

"wondering can life fully be complete as a woman without BEARING a child? Honestly? Would u wake up @ 50 yrs. old and have regrets? Hmmmmmmm just wondering!"

After mulling this over, I replied:

"Well, I'm going to try to put this into a coherent format. Growing up, I always kind of assumed I'd marry and have kids. If I'd known then how my life would have turned out, I think I would have been really upset. BUT, now, I feel that my life has gone in the direction it was meant to go in. If I'd married and had kids, I wouldn't have had the awesome opportunities I've had to care for 13 (almost 15!) terrific kids. The time I spent with my charges was (and is) precious to me. I adore what I do. But I also adore being "unencumbered" when the work day is over. I love being with my charges, and I love being on my own. I have a great balance there, IMO, and it works for me.

Now, I am not at a point where I have crossed the idea of adoption off my list of possibilities, but I also think that unless I have a drive to adopt, I am better off NOT taking that path.

I have lots of love to give "my" kids, and right now, that's as close to parenting as I am going to come. And I'm OK with that! :-)"

So what do you all think? How would you answer that question?


SSGranolaGirl said...

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

We all make choices based on what is available and not available to us. No matter which path you choose, look around and enjoy what the path offers, find other side paths to explore, and make the most out of what you have. If you spend all of your time trying to see through the trees to the other path or walking backwards to catch a glimpse of it-THEN you will wake up at 50 with regrets for what you have squandered.

Pilgrim said...

I adore children and always have. My heart belongs to them. And I LOVE being a nanny. I was also a teacher for 12 years, and took care of dozens upon dozens of well as being a camp counselor-- there are a few more dozens of dozens of children. All those children are in my heart forever. I feel/ felt like a mom to ALL of them.
But... I also get to sleep a full night's sleep every night ;) I also don't have to worry about putting any of them through college. I don't have to worry about braces, medical bills, or figuring out how to buy their first car. And I am totally okay with that.
I may not have my own children, but I am as close to a mommy as I can afford and as much as I can get without being one. I get all of the perks of being a mom, without so much of the pain. Its something that works well for me. The kids I have had love me like I am their mom, and I love them like they are my children.

armold roa said...

This is really disappointing. What have you done against it?
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